You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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