it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
