Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
