Do you still have your period?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
