Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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