the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
