yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
