he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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