It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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