I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
