My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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