You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
