This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
