You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
