You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
