That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
