I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
