At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
