Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
