I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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