dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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