a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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