New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
