This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
