Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
