The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
