It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
