38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Randomize
