My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
