I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
