I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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