Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
