just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
