my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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