weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
