dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
