He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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