I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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