my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
