He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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