yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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