you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
