Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
