And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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