dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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