so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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