I think my vagina is haunted
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
