There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
