My room smells like vodka and shame
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fuck appropriateness.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
