And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
